What if you had someone in your life that really got you?
Someone who knew your secrets and loved you anyway, who understood how you think, and what drives you. Listened when you needed a shoulder to cry on, never laid judgment, was one of your biggest cheerleaders and was completely honest with you, even when it wasn’t what you wanted to hear. Someone that could take a step back and help you to be more selective so that you could be more effective in your life.
That, my friend, is the power of an accountability partner.
I used to think that accountability partners were just for someone owning their own business, but through my accountability relationship, I’ve found that you can and should have an accountability partner to walk through life with you.
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I first met my accountability partner in my online blogging class.
Someone in the class had mentioned how much The 12 Week Year (by Brian P Moran and Michael Lennington) had made such a big impact in their business, so she and I decided to purchase the book and work through it together. (Best book ever, by the way!)
Little did I know, I was about to embark on a relationship with what turned out to be one of my dearest friends.
How your accountability partner will help in your life
- She won’t allow you to quit or give up on yourself.
- She’ll help you be more selective in what you’re doing so that you can be more effective in your day. In fact, as my AP says, learn to say no to the good for the sake of the better.
- This person will be just as excited and invested in your dreams and goals as you are.
- You’ll be able to call her when you’re gridlocked with something going on in your life and need a fresh perspective.
- She will never judge you.
- She’ll pray with you and for you.
- If you both have your own business, you’ll be able to divide and conquer. Rather than both of you investing in the same classes, you each take something that you’re needing to learn, go through the class and then teach each other how to effectively accomplish what needs to be done to help you both improve.
- In your business, you can both contribute your own strengths to counter the other’s weaknesses.
I can’t count the number of times my AP and I have reached out to each other when we’ve needed perspective, prayer, guidance, and even some hard cold truth.
And as much as she will be all those things for you, you will also need to be able to return the favor and be all those same things to and for her.
Areas in your life where you can use an accountability partner
Are you thinking to yourself, yes, but I don’t have my own business? How will an accountability partner benefit me?
Here’s a list of areas where you could benefit from having an accountability partner.
- Prayer life and deepening your walk with God
- Health and fitness
- Marriage – Although it’s important to note here that this is not replacing your relationship with your husband. You should never share anything ugly or derogatory that would make your husband embarrassed or ashamed. I’m simply recommending someone who can positively help you in difficult times, who will pray on your behalf and someone who shares in the celebrations of your marriage.
- Personal Finance – Perhaps you’re wanting to become debt-free. Find someone who is wanting to take that journey with you. You can hold each other accountable for making sure that you’re not spending money on things you don’t need. Someone to call when you’re feeling weak and will talk you down from splurging on that pair of shoes that would go with that gorgeous blue dress in the closet.
- Achieving your goals – You can work through our FREE Goal Crushing Action Plan together to map out your goals and then meet weekly or bi-weekly to make sure you’re both on track to accomplish them. (Our Goal Crushing Action Plan can be found in our community library. Simply subscribe by clicking here to get instant access to it and all of our free resources.)
You can have an accountability partner for just about any area in your life.
Where can you find an accountability partner
- Prayer – The very first thing I would encourage you to do is go to God and pray on it. Ask Him for guidance and to lead you to the right person for the area you’re wanting accountability in.
- Facebook Groups and Instagram – Start paying attention in your favorite social media groups.
- Local parenting groups – This is typically a lot easier than finding someone online. You’re actually around them more so you can make a decision based on what you see and feel.
- Online classes – As I stated earlier, my AP and I met through our online blogging class. We actually live on opposite sides of the country and knew each other for a couple of years before we finally got to meet in person!
- Local groups – Check out your local bible studies, women’s groups, professional meetings and see who you tend to gravitate towards.
Look for someone who appears to have the same values as you.
How to start an accountability relationship
I know, putting yourself out there and asking someone to be your AP can be incredibly intimidating. But here’s the thing, my friend, change does not happen inside of your comfort zone, so you’ve got to take that first step. I guarantee that the more you flex that fear muscle, the easier it will become.
As one of my favorite bloggers, Ruth Soukup says, it’s time to Do It Scared!
When you approach someone about being accountability partners, be upfront about you’re looking for and what you want for the both of you.
Set up a regular time to meet and make sure she can commit to it. Make those meetings a priority!
I highly recommend starting by working through something together.
- A course (online or otherwise)
- Bible study
- A book – If you’re wanting to learn to be more productive and have goals to achieve, you can work through The 12 Week Year like my AP and I did. If you’re looking for help with parenting, pick up a parenting book to work through. Striving to go debt-free? Work through Financial Peace University by Dave Ramsey or The 90-Day Budget Bootcamp by Rosemarie Groner. (Both of which we have and continue to work through in our debt-free journey and I highly recommend them both.)
- A fitness challenge
What does an accountability meeting look like?
When we first started this new relationship, my AP and I met every two weeks.
We would meet in a video chat on Facebook, go over what we’ve accomplished in those two weeks, give each other direction with whatever area we were needing help and then set our goals for the upcoming two weeks.
Now, however, we chat nearly every day either by text message or on the phone. We ask questions about something that is stumping us and walk each other through it. We check on our families, pray for each other, and celebrate even our smallest of accomplishments.
But if you’ve never had an accountability partner before, here is a meeting structure for you to follow:
- Meet every week or every other week.
- Discuss what you’ve accomplished since your last meeting. Did you meet your goals? If not, what kept you from it and brainstorm what you can do to succeed the next time.
- Share each other’s wins.
- During each meeting, put one of you in the “hot seat.” Discuss something you are working on or having trouble with and brainstorm how to step it out to get it done.
- Set goals to accomplish by the next meeting. Perhaps it’s to read a daily devotional four out of seven days in the week. Maybe it’s to try a new strategy to help the kids with their homework, that you’ll have one room in your house completely cleaned and purged, that you’ll cut your Starbucks run down to two a week and pack a lunch for work every day so that you can put the money you saved on that credit card to help you pay that debt off sooner.
I highly recommend you begin by committing to 12 weeks. This gives you plenty of time to meet your goals and allows you time to get to know the person you’re working with. It also gives you an opportunity to stop the relationship should the two of you just not jive (because let’s face it, sometimes that’s just going to happen!)
I’ve put together a FREE worksheet to help you stay organized and keep your accountability meetings and your time in between productive. You can access it in our community library. Simply subscribe to our newsletter below and get instant access to it and all of our FREE resources.
I have no doubt that when you find the right AP, you’ll wind up with a best friend that you get to do life with. Someone to cheer you on with no animosity to your success, but rather be truly excited for your big wins.
You will have someone to pray with and for you, someone who will stand before The Lord on your behalf. You’ll laugh together, cry together, and fight to accomplish your dreams together.
You’ll share a relationship with someone who comes to know you inside and out. You’ll find “your person!” (Any Grey’s Anatomy fans out there?)
I would love to hear from you. Comment below and tell me what area of life you’re wanting accountability for.
Thanks for stopping by the blog today. If you love this post, I would be honored to have you share it with your friends!
Until next time, my friend…
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