Well, this is a tough one, isn’t it? Why on earth would you want to pray for someone who’s hurt you? Honestly, when someone hurts me, most of the time I don’t……well not at first anyway.
When’s the last time you were hurt by someone? When’s the last time someone disrespected you by not only hurting you once but by hurting you over and over again with no regard for your feelings whatsoever?
How does Jesus expect you to pray for that person? I mean, seriously now. That person just treated you horribly. Is this for real?
Well, my friend….it’s for real. Jesus does call us to pray for those who’ve hurt us, but how are we supposed to do that?
First and foremost, you need to realize that Jesus already knows how difficult it is – He knows everything about you, so there’s no reason to try and hide your feelings from Him. You can find great comfort in knowing that you can go to Him for absolutely everything. Your joys, your concerns, and your challenges….all of it!
Go to Him when you are hurting and He will soothe your pain. Go to Him when you are joyful. He will share your joy and multiply it. by Sarah Young, Jesus Calling
We certainly don’t set out to hurt someone, but think about this……how many times have you done just that? How awful did you feel when you realized you had hurt them? Wouldn’t you like to know that they were praying for you? Praying for you to understand how you hurt them, praying for you to learn from your mistake so that you don’t hurt them, or anyone else, like that again. Asking Jesus, on your behalf, to forgive you.
If Jesus can love you unconditionally, no matter what you’ve done, couldn’t you pray for someone who has done something they shouldn’t have? You can begin with this prayer,
“Lord, I know you want me to pray for this person. You already know this is difficult for me and I don’t really want to (remember, you don’t have to sugar coat it. He already knows), but Lord, I pray your will in this person’s life. I pray they turn to you for direction. Please give me eyes to see and ears to hear your perspective. Please, also, grant me patience while you work your will and the grace to accept it.
I pray this every day – over and over again. I pray they humble themselves before Him, and that they want to seek his forgiveness…want to change and no longer treat people this way.
Do you know what happens EVERY SINGLE TIME I pray this for someone? God shows me a look at this person through His eyes. Seriously, every time. And you know what I see???? A person who is struggling like me and…..are you ready for it…..He shows me my role in the situation. Did you catch that? It bears repeating…I see what I’ve done wrong in this situation.
I see my role in not forgiving that person, or talking about them when I shouldn’t have, and not showing them grace like I should have. Grace that Jesus ALWAYS gives me freely – grace that I certainly don’t deserve.
Talk about humbling! The first time Jesus shows you this, let me tell you it’s one of those “whooooaaa moments.” One where it feels like he just picks you up and says, “Hey! Listen up!”
There are times that I’m so upset by what this person has done and, what I call, completely “gridlocked.” I can’t even think because I’m so upset. Those are the times that I go to Him with this prayer,
“Lord, I can’t do this right now. I can’t even think straight. Thank you for loving me unconditionally. Thank you for already equipping me with what I need to handle this challenge today. Thank you for allowing me to be me. I know that while I can’t pray for this person right this moment, you will help me get through this and I will pray for them when I calm down, after I get through this extreme feeling of being gridlocked.”
When you get like this, Jesus completely understands. He’ll pick you up and comfort you until you can stand on your own. He does that for you – no questions asked. Complete, unconditional love.
He doesn’t expect you to keep going back for more bad behavior, but he does expect you to continue to pray for the person who’s hurt you.
Believe me, I don’t have it all figured out. I am in the trenches right beside you. We’re all a work in progress – on our own journey with Jesus, and we can help each other through these challenges.
The next time someone hurts you, go to Jesus first. He’s right there waiting for you….all you have to do is ask.
Until next time, my friend…..
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Thank you for your beautiful thoughts on this subject. Praying for someone who has hurt you is especially difficult. Especially when, like you said in your post, that person does it over and over again. It’s even worse when that person is, of all people, your mother. It was just a week ago the most recent time and my husband could see an instant difference in my demeanor and overall bubbly-ness towards life that I had only recently gotten back.
It is so difficult to pray but Jesus is right there! I love that you said we don’t have to try and hide our feelings because He already knows. I have found that in the times that I pray freely and am honest about how I really feel, whether it’s anger or hurt or disappointment that the burden is lifted much faster because I’m not trying to hide or conceal it and take care of it myself.
Oh, Kelli! This is such a difficult thing to do, but I’m so glad you know that Jesus is with you and will help you through it. It may not be immediate, but He will help you through. I agree, going to Him with honesty makes all the difference in the world. I’ll add you to my prayer list and my hope is that you can find healing. Thanks for your comment!
Found this on Pinterest and I love it. You inspired me to write how I felt today and it was a great experience.
Oh my goodness! I could shout from the rooftops right now! I am so glad this is helping you! Continue to write and seek God’s help and I know He will get you through it! This is such an incredible blessing for you!
Very nice. I really like the prayer. Hard to pray for someone that hurts you, but it’s so good to feel that burden of unforgiveness towards that person being lifted when you pray for them. God is good.
You are so right! There is nothing like that feeling! Indeed, he is!