Well, this is a tough one, isn’t it? Why on earth would you want to pray for someone who’s hurt you?
Honestly, when someone hurts me, most of the time I don’t…well not at first anyway.
Why does Jesus expect this of you? I mean, seriously! That person just treated you horribly. Is this for real?
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What Jesus expects of us
Well, my friend, it’s for real.
Jesus does call you to pray for those who have hurt you, but He understands how difficult it is. In fact, He knows everything about you, so there is no reason to try and hide your feelings of anger and frustration.
You can find great comfort in knowing that you can go to Him with absolutely everything you have going on in your life. Your joys, concerns, and yes, even your challenges. In fact, there is absolutely nothing you should try to hide from God.
“Gather strength from Him and rejoice in knowing that He is not waiting for your circumstances to improve. Rather He meets you right in the middle of your mess, taking every painstaking step with you! He is ready to provide you with everything you need to get through this.” Finding Peace in the Mess 30-Day Devotional and Prayer Journal
Have you EVER hurt someone?
I’m sure you never set out to hurt someone intentionally, but I have no doubt it’s happened a time or two. Heck, we’ve all hurt people and wished so desperately that we could take it back.
How awful did you feel when you realized you had offended someone close to you?
I imagine that at the time, you would have liked to know they were praying for you and working on forgiving you.
If Jesus can love you unconditionally, no matter what you’ve done, couldn’t you pray for someone who has done something to you?
In the book, The Power of the Praying Wife, Stormie Omartian writes that you must long to do right more than be right, to give life more than get even.
So tell me, my friend, are you ready to do right? Are you ready to give life? Then it’s time to begin praying for them.
A prayer on forgiveness
I know it can be difficult to pray for someone when you’re hurting and angry, but to help you get started, begin with something like this:
“Lord, I know you want me to pray for this person. You already know how difficult this is for me and at this point, I really don’t want to (remember, you don’t have to sugar coat it. He already knows). But Lord, I pray your will in this person’s life. I pray they turn to you for direction and forgiveness and see how much they have hurt me.
Please give me eyes to see them from your perspective, and a heart to want to forgive. I ask for patience while you work your will and to show me how to be the loving Christian you have called me to be.”
I pray this every day – over and over again. I ask God to help them humble themselves before Him, and ask that they want to seek his forgiveness, want to change, and no longer treat people in this way.
But I also ask for eyes to see them through His perspective, to show me what I have done in the situation, and how I can grow in this difficult time.
What you’ll discover
Do you know what happens EVERY SINGLE TIME I pray this for someone? Jesus shows me a look at this person through His eyes.
Want to know what I see?
I see a person who is struggling just like me. I see someone who is living in this fallen world and needs forgiveness and grace, just like me.
But that’s not all He shows me. He also reveals my role in the situation.
Did you catch that? It bears repeating…I see what I’ve done wrong in this situation.
I know without a shadow of a doubt that He will also show you what you need to learn in this challenge and what role you played in this difficulty. You only have to open yourself up to what it is He is teaching you.
Perhaps He’ll point out that you haven’t forgiven them, or maybe that you were talking about them behind their back.
Perhaps you didn’t show them grace as you should have. Grace that Jesus ALWAYS gives you so freely, grace that you probably don’t deserve. (Because I know that I sure don’t!)
Talk about humbling!
You set out to begin praying for someone else and the wrong they did and Jesus straight up teaches you something more about yourself!
Let me tell you it’s one of those “whoa moments.” One where it feels like he just picks you up and says, “Hey! Listen up! You’ve got something to learn here too!”
When you’re too angry to pray
If it hasn’t come already, there will come a time when you are too hurt and angry to pray.
When this happens, Jesus completely understands, so be honest and tell him.
He’ll pick you up and comfort you until you can stand on your own. He does that for you. No questions asked. Complete, unconditional love.
Go to Him when you are hurting and He will soothe your pain. Go to Him when you are joyful. He will share your joy and multiply it. by Sarah Young, Jesus Calling
If someone continues to hurt you, God certainly does not expect you to keep going back for more bad behavior, but he does expect you to continue to pray for that person.
Need more prayers?
I put together some FREE prayer cards so that you can cut them out and have them handy for whenever you need. Simply subscribe to our newsletter below and get instant access to them and all our free resources.
Wrapping Up
Believe me, I don’t have it all figured out. We are all a work in progress, on our own journey with Jesus. However, as a Christian, He calls us to show love. To be invisible so that He can be visible through us.
The next time someone hurts you, go to Jesus first. Ask Him for help in this difficult time and to show you this person through His eyes.
It is only on this journey of forgiveness where you’ll begin to heal. It is when God’s Light shines bright and guides the way to something far more beautiful in this incredibly difficult circumstance.
Are you willing to learn today? Are you willing to let His Light shine brightly through you?
If you answered yes to this, then and only then, will you learn to not only pray for someone who’s hurt you, but you’ll learn to shine for Jesus.
Are you stuck and in incredible pain right now? Be sure to get our 30-day devotional, Finding Peace in the Mess – A 30-day journey to unshakeable hope in the valleys of life. Click here to get it now and have it delivered to your inbox as an immediate download.
Thanks for stopping by the blog today. My prayer for you is that you will learn to find freedom from the chains of unforgiveness. That you will be set free and learn from this difficult situation you are in right now.
Until next time, my friend…..
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I needed to read this. I made some terrible mistakes too and people who have hurt me, I struggle to forgive. This is so insightful and very very good advice. Thank you.
Thanks so much for taking the time to stop by the blog and for reaching out.
I’m so glad you were able to find some comfort in this post. Believe me, I’ve made some mistakes too and it’s so hard to forgive ourselves, but He’s forgiven us, so we definitely have to learn to do the same. I’ll keep you in my prayers for continued healing and forgiveness.
Thank you for your post,this is what I need for my situation. My husband cheating on me for 10 years and still going on,it’s really hard to forgive him and get hurt again and again,but I will keep on praying.God bless you
Thank you so much for stopping by the blog and taking the time to reach out. I’m so very sorry you’re going through such difficult circumstances. It can be so hard to forgive someone, especially when they continue to hurt you over and over again. I will add you to my prayers and ask for guidance, strength, and guidance in your journey. May you find forgiveness and peace in this situation and I’m so glad you found some help from this post.
What a great reminder this post is so true! I have this friend who won’t talk to me and mad at me for some reason, she really hurt me, I am just going to keep praying for her that God will take control in her life. We serve an awesome God!🙌
Indeed He is, Naomi! Pray without ceasing and He will, no doubt, answer your prayers! Thank you so much for stopping by the blog and taking the time to reach out. I will keep you in my prayers as well.
Thank you for your wisdom and insight. This helped me.
Hi Ruth! Thanks so much for stopping by the blog. I’m so glad you were able to gain some wisdom and insight and I appreciate you reaching out to let me know!
I stumbled upon your website & looked at this article about praying for people that have hurt you. I need help with a situation that I have been struggling with. Five years ago, I went through a difficult divorce. I am remarried to a wonderful man now, but am still reliving that pain, because a family member that I was once very close to has decided to take my ex-husband’s side & now has an ongoing relationship with him as if he were still in the family. We share a disabled son together & that makes things twice as difficult. I seem to get used to the idea then something happens & it reopens old wounds & floods my mind with memories of a relationship that is lost that I may never get back. They say the still love me, but then have little regard to my feelings. I don’t know what else to do for them except to pray.
Oh, Tina! What an incredibly difficult situation you are in. You’re right, it is time to forgive. Yes, for your ex-husband and family member, but more importantly, for you. Forgiveness on a level like that takes time, but you can do it. I highly suggest getting yourself a prayer journal and start writing everything down. Go to God and ask Him for help, to release the chains of hurt, anger, and bitterness. Believe me, when I tell you, I’ve been through this myself and when God helps you through it, it’s the most wonderful feeling in the world. I can’t even begin to count how many times I would go to Him and say, “God, I know you want me to pray for this person, but I don’t know how. So I ask that you help me.” It’s hard, Tina. So very hard, but without a doubt, I know God will show up for you and help you through this.
I will add you to my prayer list and pray for you and your family too. Please keep me posted on how you’re doing. Don’t stop praying, my friend. It will get better, I promise!
Thank you so much for this article! This is exactly what I needed today. My husband walked out on me (with no warning) just days before our 1 year anniversary. He did a lot of things that without the grace of Jesus would be unforgivable. I have had such a hard time figuring out how to pray for him and finding the motivation to do so. This article was so down to earth and really spoke to me. Thank you again!
Hillary, I am so incredibly sorry for this hurt you are going through. Trying to pray for someone who has hurt us in this way seems next to impossible. I’m so glad you were able to find help with this post and I pray that you will soon learn how to forgive – to be able to free yourself from the chains. I will go to the Lord in prayer for you! Thank you for taking the time to reach out!
I’ve just read Praying for Those Who Hurt You, the first time I’ve read your blog. The article was spot on with what the Scripture teaches, and I appreciate that!
Hi Bev! Thank you for stopping by the blog and taking the time to reach out! I’m so glad you liked this post. It’s so incredibly important for every one of us and I know I need Jesus to help me through forgiveness for sure. Thanks again!
I loved reading about praying for someone who hurt me. I will most certainly pray for her tonight,
Thank you God Bless you
Hi Amelia! Thank you for stopping by the blog and taking the time to reach out. It really does begin to change your perspective when you can start praying for that person and it’s so incredibly freeing when you can begin to forgive. It’s not easy, but it is so worthwhile! Thanks, again!
I truly enjoyed this post and found it to be very much in alignment with Gods will for us. I have been in a position of such pain before that it was very hard to pray for the person and situation but I was only able to heal by being honest with God. Thank you for sharing this post on Salt & Light Link Up. This will be featured as this week post on MarriedbyHisGrace.com
Hi, Carmen! I couldn’t agree more. Being honest with God is the very first step to healing. It is so freeing when we can finally do that. I am completely humbled and so excited to be featured! Thank you for this incredible opportunity!
Thank you for your beautiful thoughts on this subject. Praying for someone who has hurt you is especially difficult. Especially when, like you said in your post, that person does it over and over again. It’s even worse when that person is, of all people, your mother. It was just a week ago the most recent time and my husband could see an instant difference in my demeanor and overall bubbly-ness towards life that I had only recently gotten back.
It is so difficult to pray but Jesus is right there! I love that you said we don’t have to try and hide our feelings because He already knows. I have found that in the times that I pray freely and am honest about how I really feel, whether it’s anger or hurt or disappointment that the burden is lifted much faster because I’m not trying to hide or conceal it and take care of it myself.
Oh, Kelli! This is such a difficult thing to do, but I’m so glad you know that Jesus is with you and will help you through it. It may not be immediate, but He will help you through. I agree, going to Him with honesty makes all the difference in the world. I’ll add you to my prayer list and my hope is that you can find healing. Thanks for your comment!
Thank you very much for sharing this you knowevert time someone does something i always think of revenge, telling myself that i wil get them but now am glad i know the vengence is not mine i just have to kneel pray for them.
Oh, Melta! Thank you for taking time to stop by the blog and reach out. It’s so hard when someone hurts us. Always remember….forgiveness is for you more than the other person. It takes time. Sometimes a very long time. But when you’re able to allow God to change your heart, it is so completely freeing. I will put you on my prayer list and I know God will help you through this!
Found this on Pinterest and I love it. You inspired me to write how I felt today and it was a great experience.
Oh my goodness! I could shout from the rooftops right now! I am so glad this is helping you! Continue to write and seek God’s help and I know He will get you through it! This is such an incredible blessing for you!
Very nice. I really like the prayer. Hard to pray for someone that hurts you, but it’s so good to feel that burden of unforgiveness towards that person being lifted when you pray for them. God is good.
You are so right! There is nothing like that feeling! Indeed, he is!