Have you ever felt discouraged and frustrated because everyone around you seems to be getting everything they’ve ever wanted while you sit, anxiously awaiting your turn?
Perhaps you’re feeling completely inadequate because the people you follow on social media seem to be running circles around you when it’s all you can do to brush the cheerios out of your hair on any given day.
That, my friend, is called the comparison trap and it’s one of the most common causes of discontentment.
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Why do they get everything they want?
Do you often find yourself frustrated because you don’t have the life that someone else does, thinking if only you could be like them and have what they have, your life would be so much better because…well, you fill in the blank.
Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook…everyone in your feed makes it seem as if they have it all together. Meanwhile, your dirty dishes are piled high in the sink and that mass of clothing in your closet is quickly becoming a mountain that you’re going to need climbing gear to scale. (I really have no idea what official “climbing gear” is called.)
There are days your Instagram feed makes you feel completely inadequate as a mom, a daughter, wife and business owner.
Their house is absolutely gorgeous, completely organized, and always clean. Even with a dog, they’ve somehow managed to conquer the ever-present tumbleweeds of dog hair that you see blowing across your own floor.
And there you sit, excited because your biggest accomplishment of the day was to finally get that load of laundry that you washed three separate times into the dryer.
Maybe you find yourself jumping into your van that reeks of cheerios, sour milk, and old fast food combined. Are you desperately wishing you could trade it in for that beautiful, fully loaded car you’ve been dreaming about? After all, your bestie is driving around in her decked out convertible, so why shouldn’t you get that?
Ah, the grass always appears greener, doesn’t it? Comparison, my friend, is the masked man stealing your joy!
10 Truths to help you stop comparing
You are not alone in this comparison trap.
It’s a daily struggle. It can cause you to spiral out of control and completely drain you of being happy and content with what you have.
If this is one of your struggles (and I assume it is since you’re here with me today), then it’s something you’ll have to work on. It means that you have to be able to recognize it and stop it in its tracks.
So today I put together 10 truths for you to stand on every time you find yourself in that ever-spiraling comparison trap.
- You are exactly who God created you to be.
- There is no other person like you. Every one of us has a different job in God’s kingdom and you were made specifically for that reason. You aren’t equipped to handle what’s going on in someone else’s life, and they aren’t equipped to handle yours.
- You are right where you are supposed to be. God has a plan for you and that plan includes living in the challenges and difficulties of life to help you grow and be ready to handle the plan He has for you.
- God does not expect you to go through life on your own. He’s here with you in your challenges and ready to walk you through it. You simply have to turn to Him and ask.
- There is beauty on this path you are on. Your road may be difficult, you may feel discouraged and beaten, but if you ask God to open your eyes to what He is teaching you, you’ll find the beauty right where you are.
- God’s opinion of you is the only one that matters. It’s time for you to stop living according to the standards of this earth…fame, success, money, more stuff. Start focusing on pleasing God and that comparison trap you are in will begin to vanish. You’ll start to see your life from a heavenly perspective rather than an earthly perspective.
- You have many blessings. No matter how difficult your life is right now, you have so many blessings to be grateful for. When you begin to feel yourself sliding down that slippery slope of inadequacy, look at all the blessings you have been given and find gratitude and contentment in them.
- Their success is not your failure. You have your own story and just because someone else is successful, doesn’t mean that you have failed. Support your friend, cheer them on and then go out and get what you want. “Be the girl who fixes another woman’s crown without telling the world that it was crooked.”
- People in your social media feed only allow you to see what they want you to see. Stop comparing yourself to strangers on the internet. You may love scrolling through Instagram and seeing all the beautiful houses and designs, but the minute you begin to resent those people for having what they have, it needs to stop. Unfollow them or take a break completely from social media until you can find peace in where you are.
- Focus on the reason you were created. When you’re focused on your own purpose in life, there’s no time to worry about what others are doing in theirs. Use this as your opportunity to go after the things you’ve always wanted!
A prayer for discontentment
If this is something you regularly struggle with, then I recommend that you begin your day by suiting up with the armor of God and asking for His help in this struggle.
Begin with prayer. Perhaps something like,
Dear Lord, I ask that you take comparison from my heart. You have provided everything I need and I’m so grateful for this. Please help me to see through your eyes. I ask that you help me to remember that when I start to compare my life to someone else’s, you remind me to stop and focus on you and all you have for my life. I ask that you help me to be happy for others, to help them celebrate their wins and successes without feeling discontent for my life. Amen
Comparison is so incredibly hard to let go. It requires intentionality and a lot of practice.
However, as you practice this throughout your day, you’ll begin to break free of the chains of discontentment. God will show you everything you have in your life and how incredible it really is.
Continue reminding yourself about all the wonderful blessings in your life. Every time you feel yourself getting caught in that comparison trap, stop, whisper His name, and remind yourself of these truths.
- You are exactly who God created you to be.
- There is no one else like you.
- You are right where you are supposed to be.
- God does not expect you to go through life on your own.
- There is beauty on this path you are on.
- God’s opinion of you is the only one that matters.
- You have many blessings of your own.
- Their success is not your failure.
- You only see what people want you to see.
- Focus on your purpose.
Keep reminding yourself of these truths and stand firm on them. It won’t be long before you’ll begin to feel happy in your own life and stop comparing what you have or don’t have to those around you.
Also, if you’re struggling in your life right now, check out our 30-Day Devotional and Prayer Journal, Finding Peace in the Mess – A 30 Journey to unshakable hope in the valleys of life.
Thanks for stopping by the blog today. I’d love to hear from you. Comment below and tell me one of your biggest obstacles when it comes to comparing yourself to others.
Until next time…
P.S. If you need help letting go of some things in your life so that you can have time for what’s really important, download our most popular printable “Learning to Let Go.” It will walk you through the exact steps needed to determine what matters most and what you can let go of. It’s available in our FREE community library. Simply click here to get access.
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Tammy Rotzoll is the founder and owner of Footprints of Inspiration and podcast host at A Faithful God Podcast (which can be found on your favorite podcast player). She lives in Virginia with her husband and together they’re learning how to navigate their fun, new adventure as empty nesters.
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